Jungle Cruise
starring Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramirez, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons and Paul Giamatti
screenplay by Michael Green, Glenn Ficarra and John Requa
directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
Rating: ♦♦♦◊◊
I wanted to watch this 2021 Disney movie because when I saw a trailer for it (in Japanese) I thought it looked like a re-make of the 1951 Humphrey Bogart, Katherine Hepburn classic The African Queen. (That’s a movie I’d like to see re-made, if it’s done well.) Well, it wasn’t that. It was a movie version of the 1955 Disneyland ride of the same name, just like how the 2003 movie Pirates of the Caribbean was based on Disney’s 1965 ride of that name. I didn’t realize that at first. I knew it was familiar, and I kept trying to think what it reminded me of: a mix of Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981) and Rick O’Connell (The Mummy, 1999). But soon the ridiculous amount of fast-paced action opened my eyes.
It was fun, but quickly got sillier and sillier. I’ve never like Disneyland, and I tired of Pirates of the Caribbean long ago.
Set in 1916, Emily Blunt plays Dr. Lily Houghton who sets off to the Amazon jungle with her brother hunting a legendary tree whose flowers can cure all disease and injury - a tree which is almost impossible to find, and whose flowers must be harvested only at a particular time. The Hougton’s are led upriver by Captain Frank (Dwayne Johnson), a quirky, pun-spewing river guide. But they are being pursued by a German prince (Jesse Plemons) in a submarine who also seeks the flower for Imperial Germany’s war effort. Captain Frank’s seemingly endless store of corny one-liners were practically the best thing about this film.
“Know this about the jungle: everything you see wants to kill you (and can).”