starring Paul Schneider, Olivia Munn, Kevin Heffernan, Wood Harris, Nat Faxon, Aisha Tyler, Collette Wolfe, Hayes Macarthur and Jay Chandrasekhar
written by Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow
directed Jay Chandrasekhar
In addition to What to Expect When You’re Expecting, The Babymakers is the second movie I’ve seen recently about babies. It’s also the second movie I’ve seen recently featuring Olivia Munn. Munn co-starred in I Don’t Know How She Does It with Sarah Jessica Parker, and I think she stole the show whenever she was on screen. Munn was the best thing about that movie.
The Babymakers is a comedy about a young married couple trying (and failing) to conceive. They try the natural way. Then they see a doctor. So there are a lot of sex and masturbation jokes, and a lot of jokes about semen and sperm. Who wrote this, a couple of thirteen year olds? It is kind of funny, though, in a strictly adult way.
Husband, Tommy, can’t impregnate his wife because his sperm count is too low after suffering blunt testicular trauma. But he once had sufficiently active sperm because years earlier, before marriage, he donated sperm to a sperm bank. He returns to the sperm bank to see if they have any of his samples left that he might reclaim and use on his wife. One sample remains, but the bank refuses him because it has already been sold to another couple. That initiates a hair-brained scheme by Tommy and his buddies to break into the sperm bank at night and rob it. They hire an Indian gangster - played by director Jay Chandrasekhar himself - to help them. So the movie is about a bank robbery. A sperm bank robbery. He takes a pamphlet form them, dismisses
My favorite scene is when Tommy is home alone trying to masturbate into a petri dish but is disturbed by Jehovah’s Witnesses - women - at his door. He dismisses them with a quip about Jesus miracling a baby up his wife’s vagina but accepts a Watchtower pamphlet anyway. Shortly later, during his post-climax narcolepsy back in the bedroom he dreams about Jesus. Bummer.
My favorite line from the movie:
Why do you think there are no female serial killers? ‘Cause after they kill the first guy they have to go tell somebody.
I would have loved to see bloopers, outtakes and alternate scenes for this movie but none were offered as part of the “Special Features.”