Seven Kinds of People You Find in Bookshops
by Shaun Bythell
(Profile Books, 2020)
Generalisations are unfair, but so is life. Suck it up.
Page 5.
There is nothing that the expert likes more than to use long words where short, simple language would suffice.
Page 8.
Anyone who introduces themselves as ‘a bit weird’ is almost certainly not.
Page 12.
The antiquarian book collector is an altogether different breed, whose interest is usually in the book as an object, rather than the information it contains.
Page 18.
Antiquarian collectors invariably have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the means of identifying particular editions of the books from their hosen field.
Page 18.
It saddens me that the antiquarian is, it appears, a dying breed. The same could be said of most book collectors. They appear in fewer numbers each year. Information is no longer the preserve of books, and as such, books perhaps appear to be less valuable as sources than they once were.
Pages 22-23.
It does seem that the happiest children who come into the shop are those who are allowed to choose what books they want to read.
Page 37.
It’s hard, when you’re a voracious reader, to accept the fact that not everyone else is, but reality sometimes slaps you in the face when you witness parents dragging their children out of a bookshop, rather than into it.
Page 40.
The occultist tends to have a bearing of smug superiority, which is a little strange to say the least, considering their firm conviction in the utterly unbelievable.
Page 43.
The conspiracy theorist is less easy to spot than the dark artist. At first glance - and even under scrutiny - they can appear quite normal, and are capable of sounding fairly reasonable.
Page 49.
Gazing into crystal balls and predicting the futures of complete strangers on the basis of precisely nothing has traditionally been the exclusive preserve of bearded - or at least heavily moustachioed - middle-aged types of either gender.
Pages 50-51.
The craft enthusiast never, ever, buys anything useful. The craft enthusiast is usually an empty-nester, or retired - another trait shared with the tarot reader - and is looking to fill the void with something - anything. This is precisely the problem, for the craft enthusiast doesn’t quite know what it is that they want to do.
Page 56.
In a sense, not knowing fulfils its own purpose in as much as they can while away the long, lonely hours pestering unfortunate booksellers in search of fulfilment.
Page 56.
There seem to be some people for whom unrelenting activity is a natural condition, and others for whom appearing to be doing literally nothing whatsoever is their default disposition. The loiterer falls into the latter category, and is remarkably unsettling. They seamlessly manage to combine a certain listless quality with the illusion that they are conducting some sort of very important business when it is patently obvious that they are not.
Pages 59-60.
Other than being there to waste their time and yours, they pretend that they have nothing to do, when in reality, they have a clear purpose which they are trying to conceal.
Page 60.
There is no shame in reading books from the erotica section, and if old men and teenage boys feel the need to hide the fact that they have an interest in the subject, then perhaps it reflects more on social mores than the content of the literature.
Page 64.
I certainly don’t judge the buyers for their interest.
Page 66.
It never fails to baffle me that someone could be bored in a bookshop, with the possible exception of someone who can’t read, which pretty much excludes all adults.
Page 69.
It’s not a pleasant experience to read an online review in which a complete stranger makes assumptions about you.
Page 71.
Downsizers are easy to spot because they’ve usually downsized their cars too.
Page 91.
There’s something that is both exultant and tragic about downsizers - they’re happy because they’ve retired, they have time and money, and they’ve moved to a place they clearly love. But tragic because they’re getting rid of things which obviously meant something to them once.
Page 92.
Even the most mundane of activities - from washing clothes to walking dogs - could become a subject of bewildering fascination when observed through the eyes of a stranger who lacks the benefit of familiar cultural reference points.
Pages 97-98.
The gaze of strangers cannot but help illuminate the strangeness of our own habits.
Page 98.
Without a litany of things to complain about, the tutter has no conversation.
Page 106.
People who study their family history are usually doing so to make a point, and it’s usually a fairly petty one.
Page 110.
Nobody really cares a great deal for family history, other than Americans.
Page 112.
Perhaps in a land of immigrants the only way to differentiate yourself is to cling on to a piece of the land you left, even if it is several generations behind you.
Page 113.
Everyone has an interest in which they possess an above-average amount of knowledge
Page 115.
The world of second-hand bookshops is largely populated by people who own and run their own businesses.
Page 116.
Ancient, crumbling and often drunk or hungover, the second-hand bookseller is self-employed for no other reason than that they have no choice.
Page 122.
Smartly dressed, clean punctual, enthusiastic and armed with the inexplicable conviction that the customer is always right, the manager really has no place in a second-hand bookshop.
Page 126.
Collectors know one another, and when I tell one of them that I’ve acquired a library, they flock to the shop in their droves.
Page 135.
As a bookseller, the joy of the sci-fi fan is that they’re never disappointed.
Page 135.