Jupiter Ascending
starring Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean and Terry Gilliam
written and directed by Lana and Andrew Paul Wachowski (“The Wachpwskis”)
Rating: ◊◊◊◊◊
Piece of crap, pretentious science fiction wannabe. It wants to be like Dune (1984, directed by David Lynch, based on the iconic 1965 Frank Herbert novel of the same name), but doesn’t come anywhere near. The story is poor, and the acting isn’t any better.
It’s something about how the Earth is really a farm for superior aliens who, unbeknownst to humans, actually own us, like cattle. Earth is about to be “harvested” - i.e. all of us are going to die - for the advanced aliens’ commercial profit. But for some reason Mila Kunis (Jupiter Jones) is discovered to be the reincarnated spirit of the alien queen who is the legitimate owner of the planet. She gets caught between two competing alien siblings trying to rob her of her ownership rights. To save planet Earth Jupiter Jones has to fight the aliens in their world. It’s really dumb. It might have been better if Frank Herbert had written it and David Lynch had directed. Better to re-watch Dune instead. I did.